Stretching (with the fumes of a long toxic day)

The fox.

The dog.

The fox jumped over the dog.

The brown fox jumped over the dog.

The quick brown fox jumped over the dog.

The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.

The quick brown fox elegantly jumped over the lazy sleeping dog.

The quick chestnut brown fox elegantly jumped over the lazy sleeping spotted dog.

The damn quick chestnut brown fox elegantly jumped over the lazy sleeping spotted dog, which hasn’t moved an inch all day.

The damn quick chestnut brown fox elegantly jumped over the lazy sleeping spotted dog, which hasn’t moved an inch all day and is probably dead.

The damn quick chestnut brown fox elegantly jumped, like a horse in a show, over the lazy sleeping spotted dog, which hasn’t moved an inch all day and is probably dead.

The damn quick chestnut brown fox elegantly jumped, like a horse in a show, over the lazy sleeping black and white spotted dog, which hasn’t moved an inch all day and is probably dead.

***

I realized that if I put my mind to it, I can stretch the truth a little.  However, the truth does not stretch out like an infinitely elastic piece of rubber band.  There is always a limit on how much stretching one can do.  The same goes for the amount of commas that one can use.  It’s a good thing I don’t count and I don’t write well.  =P

***

Stretching time long enough for you to see some daylight out of some dark hole is okay as long as you can stand the cold and uncertainty.

***

Stretching credibility is a stupid thing, especially when what you’re holding on to is not really a heavyweight asset.

Earlier today, I ended up reading some article comments for a local newspaper.  The article was about the 2012 Philippine budget.   A particular comment there caught my eye.  It was a comment reply to something a poster obviously misunderstood.  The comment was about SUC budgets (the shrinking budget).  Anyway, the poster bragged about having a son who is a government scholar and that he was in a position to say something about it.

Truth is, I wanted to post a rebuttal that would have pointed out his lack of credibility compared to my level of credibility (using his context). After all, I have two sons who are government scholars.  I was a government scholar.  My wife was a government scholar.  My dad was a government scholar.  My uncle was government scholar.  My granduncle was a government scholar AND a Rhodes scholar.  Like, I have 7 times more of a right to know what I was talking about.  If I add my fraternity brothers and friends who were government scholars, I’ll be a freakin’ little god of credibility.  Credibility will ooze out of my ears.  LOL

Maybe I should put that on my business card, along with “formerly a mental patient.”

 

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