Switches — The Key to Becoming Better Humans

While not under the influence of any banned substance, I came upon an idea that isn’t really revolutionary.

I believe that men (and women) should have ON and OFF switches.  Humanity would be better off having those physically installed.  When one is exceeding the limit of exhibition of a certain behavior, then someone can simply flip a switch to cut it.  If one is becoming increasingly irritating, one can turn that person off.  If one needs to improve on something, it all happens in one click.

#1823 Ethernet hookup at hotel

Plug it in. Switch On/Off.

Imagination is the only limit to what one can think of as uses for switches on humans:

  1. A sensitivity switch – might come in handy when one refuses to “step on the brakes” in dealing with other people.  Clearly, the world isn’t made for just one person and billions of other servants.  One’s thoughts cannot apply to  all people.  The next product that can be developed for this technology is a smart wallet.  The smart wallet  can have a Bluetooth data connection to this Sensitivity switch.  In turn, parents’/ spouses wallets that can auto-prompt kids and husbands/wives to stop asking for money like one is an ATM. =P
  2. A motivation switch – when one is running low on energy to finish something, this switch takes the drama out of rationalizing why you need to accomplish whatever it is you set out to do.  It beats the idea of pointing a gun to your head while trying to crack a code WHILE someone is going down on you like in the movie Swordfish.  I can do away with the gun, really.
  3. A brain equalizer switch panel – this sort of sets your brain’s mood depending on the situation.  This allows you to enjoy movies like Charlie’s Angels and its sequel without straining yourself to find substance in them.  You need more bass-thumping brain performance to enjoy a good book?  Just work those sliders.
  4. Extra: A freakin’ USB (2.0 or higher) slot (or some might prefer Firewire) — for direct downloads into your brain.  This will come in handy for those times when you just want to get knowledge quickly and shout “I know kung-fu!”  Sometimes, some will say most of the time, common sense isn’t that common.  Wouldn’t it be good to have it come in a 16 GB stick hot-pluggable into everyone’s brains?
  5. Extra: An Emergency OFF switch (with universal remote) — I guess this will be for the times you want to act like an all-powerful deity and just switch some people off for a day, that’s a TRUE universal remote.
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8 comments

  1. Ah, the “Life of Brian”, a classic. John Cleese and his band of merry marauders, the best of the Monty Python series, in my opinion, Mary in the buff as it were, and the little footloose on the cross you cite, at the end. What a riot it must have been to make those movies. I don’t have many idols, but John Cleese is one of them. He did a series called “Fawlty Towers” which should be mandatory viewing for the HRM students in the Philippines. He and his wife ran a small hotel. It was the most hilarious slapstick. I’d ROTFLMAO until I cried. Always a pleasure to visit with another bent brain . . .

    1. “Fawlty Towers”? Thanks for the suggestion. I’ll try to look for that at the local pirate shop LOL.

      I’m planning to look for the other Monty Python classics too. A good comedy is a good break from the usual tough daily grind.

      It’s my opinion that people should learn to laugh at oneself and each other. 🙂

  2. How about one of those devices that reads your eyeball irises, you know, to determine if you are really in love with that girl or only hot for her? ps the SUBSTANCE of Charlies Angels was to be found in the blond chick’s dancing rear end, the asian chick’s executive strut with whip and black masochistic outfit, and the moonwalking chick’s know-it-all smirk and kung foo drop kick. I don’t know what YOU were looking for.

    1. Joe,

      Somehow, I feel that device of yours will become a hated device among many men.

      As for the substance, I found that on the beach with Demi. LOL. I sort of recalled reading an online debate on finding the “substance” in that movie. It was between one cerebral critic and an obvious fan. A crazy debate that shouldn’t have been.

      Back to the movie. Anyway, I hope you didn’t strain your eyes too much.

      1. No, I fell asleep. Old, y’know?

        By the way, have you seen the movie “Shaun of the Dead”? Made 2004. Tops my list of all time substantive movies, given that I find laughing substantive.

        1. LOL. I can’t picture you as an old OLD man. Snoring before the ending, eh?

          Shaun of the Dead? Maybe a couple of times. It was a good zombie movie spoof. I also find laughing substantive. Simon Pegg was also funny in Hot Fuzz.:)

          How about Mel Brooks? History of the World always makes for a good conversation piece over a few cases of SMB.

          1. Well, sometimes I’m a liar, too (about the sleeping part) and the old part (which is relative to the condition of your brain more than body). Yes, I looked for Hot Fuzz but couldn’t find it. I see you know your movies. I’ve not seen “History of the World”. Mel Brooks is totally nuts, thereby being saner than most. Later . . .

            1. I’m not exactly a movie buff/ critic type. I mostly enjoy comedies.

              I did pick up “The Life of Brian” for narcissistic reasons. Always look on the bright side of life (whistles).

              Thanks for dropping by today, Joe. I’ll drop by your blog later for a comment or two or three.

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