From an Ant’s Perspective: On Quarreling with Boots

In the Avengers movie of 2012, Loki said that “an ant has no quarrel with a boot.”  I wholly agree with this line of thinking except that I think ants should seriously rethink their strategy.  I mean, who would want to get stepped on anyway?  I certainly don’t.

If one was a cockroach, getting stepped on by a boot would probably be the most common experience in daily living.  Not only is here the boot, there’s also the flying flip flop.  Most of the time the cockroaches die a terrible death.  Like, who cares if the roach can survive without its head for days? If that happened to me, become a headless cockroach,  I wouldn’t know what I’d do.  In some households, torture could include getting burned by an alcohol assisted flame, just for the homeowner’s kicks.

Take the mosquitoes, they usually die from a chemical high — quickly.  The fly? Squishy.

If one was an ant, what’s he really supposed to do?  An ant should not take on the boot one-on-one.  That’s simply stupid.  The ant should take a whole lot of other ants, infiltrate the boot, if possible.  Just crawl right in and start pumping in that formic acid into that foot.

The important thing for a little ant should be to stay alive long enough to come up with a killer Plan B.  There’s more than one way to skin a cat.

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As a side note, who skins cats, anyway?

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And like, there’s a cockroach eating contest?  Link below.  I do remember an old neighbor telling me how he ate cockroaches like nuts at a bar.

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8 comments

  1. Who skins cats, anyway ? I remember my mother once told us she had skinned a cat once, for her Zoology 101 course. Twice, actually. The second one to review for a final exam. lol

  2. Somehow your noodle blog was easier to digest before breakfast.

    “As a side note, who skins cats, anyway?” I looked it up in the Sancho Panza Guide to Global Wit and it said: “There is more than one way to skin a cat”: British expression first uttered by Dr. Livingstone when he was asked to explain how he removed the fur from tigers to make rugs. That’s why the expressing is best made with a slightly snooty upward lift of the nose.

    1. Oh, this one should’ve been read after a few rounds of SMB.

      I should call you Uncle Joe now. And thanks for looking it up. I’ll always remember the slightly snooty upward lift of the nose.

      I’m swamped with a mound of paperwork rivaling a giant anthill. These small pieces of paper, once piled up, are a guaranteed headache. It is best to deal with small things quickly.

      1. Remember that your desk has three drawers (or maybe they are boxes on the floor; same difference): The A Drawer, for the paper you must attend to quickly; it should only have a few things in it because you must work hard to keep it empty. The B Drawer for fairly important stuff that you will get to when you can free up the time. It has a few items in it. And the most famous drawer of them all, The C Drawer: stuffed to overflowing with the items that you forget about unless someone follows up to ask about it. Usually, they don’t because it doesn’t matter to them, and needn’t matter to you. The C Drawer is the greatest stress reliever since they invented sex.

        1. The C drawer would be great if it can wear a bikini and get me a beer from time to time. Kidding, Uncle Joe.

          I’ve traveled too much this time. The desk couldn’t come with me. Although she begged me, I just couldn’t bring her along. She packed too much weight already.

          They should invent self-reporting/ self-liquidating receipts.

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