Notes from a Dead Man

Life, as the cliched expression goes, is full of ups and downs. One minute you are on top of a hill admiring your handiwork; the next thing you know you see yourself rolling downhill — much faster than how fast you got to the summit.

I would love to believe that old Marlboro ad that said, “It isn’t the number of times you fall down, it’s the number of times you got back on” or something to that effect. I mean, my balls can take another bashing from another ride on a bull or this wild stallion I call my life but I have to admit that it is impossible not to feel tired at some point. The whole effort of picking yourself up and starting again is becoming a pain. Now I find myself scratching my head and asking myself, “What now, dude?”

I felt like I died on the last bull ride I had. I was dead before I fell off, at least in a figurative sense. If it were in the literal sense, this piece would be totally “ghost-written.”

Fuck that. I’m getting back on.



How to Start Your Day

I woke up at 5 AM with a nasty rumbling in my tummy.   I get up and follow what natural biological processes dictate. It looks like it is time for some drugs again. This is definitely not the way to start my day. I go back to bed only to get up more than twice because of the same thing.

Around 7:30 AM I start sending text messages to my team and colleagues,”I cannot make it today.” Honestly, that is something as rare as lightning hitting a human being more than twice (except for this sad chap). This is far from my usual morning.

The usual morning would be:

  1. Open eyes, shut off the alarm 6:30 AM
  2. Get up 6:45 AM
  3. Drink a glass of water. I read that it is supposed to be good for you.
  4. Do my morning exercises (yes, I do)
  5. Take a shower
  6. Get dressed for work
  7. Have a bite to eat and run out of the door to avoid coming in late for work.
  8. Repeat same process next day

That sounds like the life of a typical worker, no BS in the morning. Sometimes, I like to believe that I have matured this much.

At around 8:30 AM, I asked one of my teammates if she was already in the office. She said that she was already on her way. Knowing that she lives  less than half a kilometer away from the office, I just thought: What a good little growing girl she truly is!

…and then she sent me this message:

“Ginising ako ni ______ ng 6am. Bangon ng 6:30, ligo. Luto. Hugas ng pinggan. Plantsa. Kilay. Hahaha”

Here’s the whole routine:

  1. 6 AM – boyfriend wake-up call
  2. 6:30 AM – actual wake up time
  3. Take a bath
  4. Cook (breakfast or lunch pack)
  5. Do dishes
  6. Iron office clothes
  7. Do eyebrows (magkilay)
  8. Repeat the same thing the next day (maybe except on Sundays)

Wow! I guess that’s the true power of a goal-oriented millennial. Do all of that under two hours, with ironing and “kilay” to boot.



Because I Couldn’t Figure Out What to Write

I think it was last week when a very dear friend/former co-worker, sent me a message on Facebook. She said, “Master, when are you going to update your blog? The last one is so old already.” In case you’re wondering, she fondly calls me “Master” as a way not to call me “Sir.”  I did insist before that she call me by my first name which was totally cool by me even if I outranked her. Filipinos are super polite and respectful and strictly abide by that. So, I said that if she’ll insist on calling me “Sir”–I am certainly no knight–she might as well just call me “Master.” Just don’t ask me on what I am a master of.  In some circles, I can be a master of bad timing, disasters, and other nasty stuff. Anyway, this matter has no bearing on how the rest of this post goes.

So, what have I been up to since I took a break from updating this address on the internet? Well, I’ve been reading other blogs, stalking people on Facebook, and watching the news, and vice versa. In a way, I can figure that as something like an observation field trip–a so-what’s-going-on-in-the-world kind of thing. I hate to imagine that cyberspace is an actual representation of how people are in real life. If I look at Facebook, I might surmise that most of my friends are either adventurers, geniuses, yoga masters, potheads, philosophers, judgmental pricks and narcissists, or all of that rolled into one person. I mean, no matter what they do online or offline, it’s totally okay with me.  Just as long as they aren’t damn cheats.

Other than Facebook, of course there are online communities/ bloggers of like-minded thinking. In general, I can just group them into: fun communities, groups of open-minded progressives, groups of closed pseudo-intellects pushing agendas, and marketers. It’s great that people can seek out people that they feel are so much like them. That’s totally okay with the fun stuff and learning about new products. On the serious side of things, I mean, if one isn’t careful or one isn’t too critical about what he or she reads, one might end up supporting a cult, an extremist faction, and whatever radically extreme food and health movement. I say that any trip should be to broaden the view not tighten the noose of confirmation bias. Fun, I guess that’s what I am aiming at. Fun in the general sense that we shouldn’t take ourselves too seriously. I mean, just imagine having fun without hurting other people; the world will certainly be a better place.

Openness, broaden your views, explore; I found those reading recipe books. I mean, now I have an odd curiosity to make donuts and ice cream. At least those are things in mind other than my home made sausages. I always thought of cooking at home as a means to relax. But deep down in the core, I feel that it’s something else. I think a friend of mine just answered that for me. He mentioned something about the need to create, like, it’s who we are. That just hit the spot. And that is what brought me here today to hammer out a few words on my keyboard. Well, I’m not exactly a literary genius, but doing this helps me figure out how to bring out thoughts and ideas that will otherwise pester me for some time. It’s a desire to express something. One might ask: “But what has that got to do with home cooking?” Well, it’s transforming something raw into something edible and filling, something that nourishes my loved ones. It’s a joy this person cherishes a lot.

Create something of value. It might be for you or for some other people. The joy is in making it and seeing it come to life.

Clicking on publish.   

Heads Up!

A strange thing happened this evening.  People suddenly took a pause to admire the moon and its halo.  The usual stream of what-I-had-for-dinner photos and selfies got bumped off by the nearest celestial body.  According to scientists and the Philippine weather service (PAGASA), the halo is from the reflection of light from the ice crystals in the air, or something to that effect.  In olden days, some would just say that the lunar light show is an omen, a sign of bad things to come.  I’ll take the positive awe over the negative “hell, no.”

and it shines like a living hymn (image via

The moon sure has enough stopping power, either when it’s a big bright Full Moon, which I howl at, or when there is a unique phenomenon that occurs with it.  I’m sure glad that nature can still shut people up with a freebie beauty show treat rather than shutting them up with a fear-inducing display of power courtesy of storms and quakes.  Nature gave us a free show.  Great!

Tonight’s show, I’ll take it as a reminder of how small we really are in this world.  It could also be a reminder of how some things are beautiful by default.  It also serves up the question:  Why do people always have to complicate things when there is beauty in simplicity?  That’s a question best answered over a few rounds of…something meant for a different writeup.

Related article:

Misplaced Irritation

What better way to spend a Black Saturday evening than to watch the latest episode of The Following, a week-delayed view of The Walking Dead and a more-than-three-month old SNL episode.

Sure, some might say that I would have been better off at a religious vigil somewhere in some old church in some old province. I just didn’t feel like squeezing in with a bunch of other people with the same idea. Besides, I think much of the religious events are getting far to be too commercial — that’s for a different writeup. And again, if I did go out, the chances of me binging on some other substances would be higher.  I’ll take TV, stay home, and sort of stay away from the stuff I abuse. Lousy excuse for a Catholic, right?


In the The Following, Claire finally gives in to her motherly instincts and allows herself to be taken to Joe and son Joey. Jacob is officially psycho, more psycho than he previously was which was tame psycho. You’ll get it if you watch the show. Jacob just could not get over the fact that Emma left him and Paul, AND the fact that he had to kill Paul.

In The Walking Dead, Rick finally decides that it’s much better to leave the next major decision to a vote. After all, he’s sort of going psycho too. Rick still hasn’t gotten over his wife’s death. He’s gotten so much more paranoid. After all, there aren’t many walking humans around and the only other ones left are trying to kill them.

In Saturday Night Live, I happened to catch a December 2012 (Christmas) episode and sort of loved the Weekend Update which featured “The Girl You Wish You Hadn’t Started a Conversation With at a Party.”  I can’t really describe why I found this entertaining, so here’s a link to a video clip I found on YouTube (from generalkilroy1).

While I found that character funny, it struck me, there are real people who are like that in real life and they’re not just girls AND not all have that irritating tone of voice. You’ll come across some wannabe know-it-all people you’d wish you’d get to run over and be hailed a hero afterwards. Come to think of it, we all get to become irritating at some point. Bouts of misplaced passion will do that to a person, know-it-all or not.

Points of reference, you’re most likely irritating:

1. If you are the type of person who would want to carry on a debate on whose turn it is to do the dishes like it was a new tax law affecting everyone in the civilized world. Like, just do what you’re supposed to do and complain later. Complaining just before you have to do something already agreed on just to find a way to squirm out of it is just so…

2. If you tend to adopt and twist some portions of ideologies to support your argument that you should not do the dishes. Like, thinking about which points to use in an argument would probably take the same amount of time to do the dishes.

3. If you want to end up screwing up everyone else’s day just because you wanted to have an argument on who should do the dishes. The approximate time that everyone is angry as hell is about the same time needed to finish doing the dishes.

Misplaced passion, wasted time, screw that. The point is, we should pick the battles we fight. If we all put the same priority and value to everything around us, we’ll all end up very much confused. You may be the smartest and most gifted person on the planet. However, if you don’t know when and how to use those talents, you’re still going to end up useless. Even the Bible says there’s a time for every purpose under Heaven.

Cooling down. After all, it is a holiday.  I don’t want to end up as the guy you wish you hadn’t started a conversation with on WordPress.