Advice and Opinion

We pay for opinion.  We get opinion for free.  Free? Read a blog.

We pay for advice.   We get free advice.  Free?  Just post a question about some crazy shit relationship issue on Facebook.  You’ll get responses in no time at all.  Go the extra mile?  Call a radio station.

Opinions are like assholes.  Everyone has one.  The same thing goes for advice, which is itself an opinion.  Like how the body is genetically programmed to produce an asshole for the human body, a person cannot stop to form opinions.  Even accepting one’s opinion in itself is forming an opinion.

This blog post is an opinion about opinions.  I offer no advice.

Stretching (with the fumes of a long toxic day)

The fox.

The dog.

The fox jumped over the dog.

The brown fox jumped over the dog.

The quick brown fox jumped over the dog.

The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.

The quick brown fox elegantly jumped over the lazy sleeping dog.

The quick chestnut brown fox elegantly jumped over the lazy sleeping spotted dog.

The damn quick chestnut brown fox elegantly jumped over the lazy sleeping spotted dog, which hasn’t moved an inch all day.

The damn quick chestnut brown fox elegantly jumped over the lazy sleeping spotted dog, which hasn’t moved an inch all day and is probably dead.

The damn quick chestnut brown fox elegantly jumped, like a horse in a show, over the lazy sleeping spotted dog, which hasn’t moved an inch all day and is probably dead.

The damn quick chestnut brown fox elegantly jumped, like a horse in a show, over the lazy sleeping black and white spotted dog, which hasn’t moved an inch all day and is probably dead.

***

I realized that if I put my mind to it, I can stretch the truth a little.  However, the truth does not stretch out like an infinitely elastic piece of rubber band.  There is always a limit on how much stretching one can do.  The same goes for the amount of commas that one can use.  It’s a good thing I don’t count and I don’t write well.  =P

***

Stretching time long enough for you to see some daylight out of some dark hole is okay as long as you can stand the cold and uncertainty.

***

Stretching credibility is a stupid thing, especially when what you’re holding on to is not really a heavyweight asset.

Earlier today, I ended up reading some article comments for a local newspaper.  The article was about the 2012 Philippine budget.   A particular comment there caught my eye.  It was a comment reply to something a poster obviously misunderstood.  The comment was about SUC budgets (the shrinking budget).  Anyway, the poster bragged about having a son who is a government scholar and that he was in a position to say something about it.

Truth is, I wanted to post a rebuttal that would have pointed out his lack of credibility compared to my level of credibility (using his context). After all, I have two sons who are government scholars.  I was a government scholar.  My wife was a government scholar.  My dad was a government scholar.  My uncle was government scholar.  My granduncle was a government scholar AND a Rhodes scholar.  Like, I have 7 times more of a right to know what I was talking about.  If I add my fraternity brothers and friends who were government scholars, I’ll be a freakin’ little god of credibility.  Credibility will ooze out of my ears.  LOL

Maybe I should put that on my business card, along with “formerly a mental patient.”

 

Just in case…

Just in case you decide to marry your job, make sure that it stays sexy and wears the right “lingerie.”  That’ll come in handy once you start feeling bored with the “relationship.”

Silly idea.  But that’s just it, jobs and careers don’t suddenly decide to put on a sexy show to “excite” you when you start showing loss of energy.  In a practical and a real world sense, it’s always the other way around.  You should always stay sexy and attractive for that job.  I’m not being literal about this, of course.  That is, unless you’re in the porn industry.

(I blame this line of thinking on that round girl at the PXC fights last Saturday.  Awwrr!)  

Thoughts from a nasty sprain

Here’s a confession: I AM AN ADDICT.  A badminton addict.  I think I belong to the few remaining loyalists who play this court sport.  I used to play almost everyday.  Now I am down to weekend play.  Earning a living is much more important than play.  The important thing is we remember to keep some physical activity to blow off some steam.  That’s what I usually do every Saturday — play the pressure away.

Last Saturday, I slipped and fell.  Unconsciously, my left arm stretched out to break my fall.  I saw my right ankle twist a bit and I was afraid that I injured it.  I walked it off.  I thought I was in the clear until I felt some pain emanating from my left wrist.  Crap!  It’s a wrist sprain.  After a lot of ice and a some painkillers, I end up in front of my computer again to look at my email backlog.

I know it’ll be tough to do things with one hand.  I’ve been there, done that.

This weekend “injury” brought back memories of 2008 when I was temporarily rendered primarily left-handed because of stupidity.  I long remembered since then that trying to karate chop something made of metal isn’t one of my smartest ideas.  I also think pretending that my ageing body can still play hard on the court will be joining that list of dumb ideas.  I can hear the missus grumbling in the background telling me to quit playing already.   I know I won’t.

Anyway, back to the days of one-handed tasks, I did these:

1. Eat using a chopstick with my left hand.
2. Beat my kids at video games using my left hand (1 out 10 times).
3. Drive with one hand — stick!
4. Type proposals and memos using one hand

Here’s some other tough things to do with one hand:

1. Washing your ass.  Wiping isn’t an issue.  Doing it the Asian way of washing is tougher if you lose an appendage.
2. Putting on deodorant/ antiperspirant.  No problem if you’re using a spray.  Try doing it with a tiny roll-on bottle.
3. Holding soap and washing your armpits.

Anyway, I’m glad the pain has finally subsided.  While the range of movement is not all there yet, I know my left hand will function normally towards the middle of this week.  I just hope I don’t slip and fall again.  I might just start falling in love with pain killers.

Related articles

• Sprains (garyskeete.wordpress.com)

While You Were Not Looking

It’s funny how a single issue, like the Pacquiao-Marquez fight, took hold of the Philippines.  Everyone suddenly had an interest in statistics and became experts.  Now, that’s a pretty rosy picture for this country.  We can be experts if we wanted to.

Here’s the situation:

While we were busy with Pacquiao and Marquez, fuel prices are going up.

While we were busy with Pacquiao and Marquez, the poor continued to be poor.

Who gives a damn about those issues anyway?  Certainly not us.  We’re just well-trained consumers.